I step onto the trail. The snow has blown in and erased my path with drifts. I know the path well. Looking ahead of me I can tell which tree branch I usually duck under and which one always hits my arm. I will recreate my trail.
As I leave the treed in area and head into the open prairie my foot steps hit resistance. The snow is like creme brulee – a hard crusty surface with soft snow underneath. I know this snow. This is snow-fort snow.
It is a perfect day. A warm wind, blue sky and the sun delights to see its reflection in the million glistening stars it creates in the snow around me. I plop down and begin cutting out blocks for a snow fort.
I am in a bit of a trance. When I realize what I instinctively just did I feel a little silly. But hey, I cut some more blocks anyway remembering all the snow forts my friends and I use to make. I should include them in my story somewhere but wonder how to write about them. Then I remember something else…
I turn the corner from the back alley to the street. I feel like I am gliding home. Lynn is with me. It is daylight and most likely afterschool. As we turn the corner I see my house and then dad, with his snow scoop, shoveling snow. He walks along the drive way filling his scoop with snow and then piles it up against the house.
I can remember the first time I asked dad why he piled snow up against the house. I was small, maybe five years old. He told me he did it to help insulate the house. The snow piled up against the walls would keep us warmer.
“Like an igloo?” I asked.
“Yes, kind of like that.” he said.
I remember thinking my dad was really smart for knowing that. But now, in this second, as I turn the corner I don’t know if I feel proud or embarrassed about my uniqueness. None of my friends pile snow up along the outside walls of their houses.
I see Lynn’s expression and I wish we could be like everyone else. I don’t know what the small smile she wears means. I don’t ask. All I know is this is not the first time we have done something weird around her. We are forever doing something my friends have never seen before. She will still be my friend in the morning. Somehow this knowledge feels only half full, incomplete, not enough.
I stop cutting blocks of snow and just sit there. My chest feels full. Feelings of pride mixed in with shame surround me. I gotta get back to the house and write this one down before I forget it or lose its passion.
In search for a meaning or plot to my story I wonder if my antagonist is my community, society in general, that tells me what I have isn’t enough. I had no idea as a child that I was poor and without until society told me I was poor. It was like I had no idea what that word even meant.
I may have found my theme:)