Home » Diary of A Memoir Writer » Diary of a Memoir Writer: Week Four

Diary of a Memoir Writer: Week Four

I love my orange pen. Can you see it?

Here I am. Finally sitting down to write. I feel like a sham. Like a fake. My tummy feels nervous at the thought of hitting the publish button cause I have been gone all week.  I have a mug of hot water and some bengal spice tea brewing beside me to help calm my jitters.

Have you ever not called someone back when you knew you should and then you see them on the street or mall or whatever and there is this awkward moment where you have to face them?  That is how I feel now.  Gone all week and now I have to face the music and return.  It could be just me putting this stress on myself.  I know I don’t care when the bloggers I follow post.  I will be there when they are ready and frankly, I am an irregular follower.  I follow and read mostly on weekends or a day or two during the week where I try to catch up on the weekly posts.  I digress…

This week homeschooling took a priority.  I sense I am alternating weeks.  One week it is all about writing and then the next is about homeschooling.  I miss writing when I am in my off week but homeschooling is always present.  It trumps everything else.  Darn kids:)

This week I have realized, and I think I have realized this before but forgot, that writing is not my first love.  My first love is helping people in a face-to-face manner.  That is my meat or protein.  It is the heart of my day.  When I can sit down with someone and hear their thoughts and help them.  Even if helping them is simply listening.  I am not ready to make that a full-time business though so I write.  Writing is my water in life.  Or perhaps it works well as my veggies in this analogy.  I don’t know.  I haven’t thought this anaology through.  I need writing like I need to speak.  But I need face-to-face helping as much. Homeschooling, well that is my rice, my bread, my corn.  It is a staple.

Knowing that writing is not champion in my life can that release some of the guilt I feel in not hitting the internet at all this week?  Does it relieve me?  Probably not.  I hear constant pressure out there about how you need to be consistent in your posting.  Ahh… consistency is my enemy.  I rebel against consistency.

I am participating in Deepak Chopra’s 21 Day Meditation Challenge.  On one of the days he talks about not judging any moment, or anything for that matter, as good or bad.  Just be.  Let things be.  He also talks about how you are where you need to be.

Now I realize that is what this post has been about – me judging me.  Time to end.

I will enjoy writing.  I will post as often as I can but I have kids and I do love them so.  They are a priority over everything else.  I will continue to learn how to manage my time and until then … well this erratic posting is just me.  Just know that I love reading many of your blogs and I love hearing your comments and support.  Thank you for sticking around:)

PS: I invite you to join me on Facebook for a bit more intimacy:)


9 thoughts on “Diary of a Memoir Writer: Week Four

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself. A new reader like me doesn’t even know you were away ;). I love your pic in this post and also your header photo as it reminds me of my own, only you had the guts to use the books which are in even worse shape than the ones I used!

    • Thank you so much. I think I am disappointing myself cause I like to write,read, blog and connect. A week away seems like a week without my friends, hearing what they have been up to and swapping stories. Be easy and enjoy it hey. Thanks for the comment.

  2. Thanks for being brave and expressing your thoughts and frustrations. But I have to agree that you need be easier on yourself ;-) I admire the way you put your children first and you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing it. Have a glass of wine and smile!

  3. I like the fact that you write from your gut and I wouldn’t be so concerned about how you carve up your day. I am on a writing degree and I barely write for more than three hours a day which leaves plenty of time for anything else.
    It’s good to be consistent which I am not but hey ho we struggle on.Thanks

    • Thank you so much for your supportive words. I received an email from someone saying that I am fitting in with most writers:) Her comment ties right into that theory as well! As always, it is nice to know we are not alone.
      Where are you in your writing degree? Almost done? What is the focus of your studies? I would love to hear more.

      • Thanks. I am on the second year of a creative and professional writing degree in Wales. The second year modules are The Novel (structuring), Transformative Writing, Film and Television, and Showing and Telling. Of course there is plenty time to write and also get great feedback from established writers. Only one and ahalf years to go : )

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