Home » Sunlight » A Bit of Sunlight – Writer’s Craft III

A Bit of Sunlight – Writer’s Craft III

*Sorry for my post being so late.  I am working on finishing my book by Saturday.

 Saturday is my deadline!* 

It feels good to set my alarm clock each morning. I feel like I have a purpose. A small one. It is just for me, but it is a bit of something sweet to my day.

I have dumped out my garbage, the first step in Tom Bird’s book. I hope I got it all. The next step is to write my story. Before you start writing your masterpiece you create a contract binding you to working for thirty days on your writing, according to Mr. Bird. I do this and send it out to seven people. Requiring them to hold me accountable. Seven people who I feel safe with and I know will encourage me onwards. I should have my contract fulfilled by November 19th. I am pumped!

My husband is not one of these seven people and it bothers me.

I begin writing. I start by doing some mind-mapping to get my juices flowing. I put the subject of a memoir of my childhood in the middle of the page and then let topics flow out from that.  I keep doing this until one of those topics cause me to write and write and write.

I do this for almost half an hour. Tom Bird says it could take fifteen minutes so clearly there must be something wrong with me. My brain eventually finds a topic. I run with it and my writing begins.

After a week of getting up to write my story I am questioning my writing. I am not sure where this is going. My ‘story’ feels more like a journal. I wake up every day at five o’clock in the morning just to bitch for an hour and a half. I can not seem to shift it to be a memoir, or account of my life in Rose Valley, or anything else. I didn’t think I would write about these thoughts. Over and over again I write about what I am going through right now. I can not seem to shake it. Especially when it is the same fiasco day in and day out.  It is driving me crazy.

It doesn’t seem that long ago that I got up in the night and wrote down the beginning of what I thought would be a family memoir. Those magical words that came to me so simply. They just slipped into my brain the night Craig and I watched Eat, Pray, Love. How come words are not coming so easily to me now?

Maybe I am stuck because I allow thoughts and events to block me from letting my creativity flow – like Craig’s pressure on me. I have noticed that when I write my best it is after I have stood up to Craig. How can he affect my creativity? Or is it me affecting my creativity? It isn’t every fight. It is the fights where I make myself the most vulnerable to him. Those fights where I am strong and my heart bursts through a wall I have up.  Those are the times that I feel art comes out of me – my mind is clear – and the process is easy.  It doesn’t make any sense.  

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4 thoughts on “A Bit of Sunlight – Writer’s Craft III

  1. I think that you writing about the present was exactly what you needed to do, pay of the healing process. As for standing up for yourself, maybe you get a confidence boost. Maybe it has nothing to do with Craig, maybe too would get that boost if you stood your ground against anyone. Being your hubby, he just happens to be the one around. Just a thought. But either way, I can’t wait to read the whole book! Good luck on your deadline.

    • I like what you say. I agree that it is a matter of me shedding my garbage and letting the light come through and my Craigy just happens to be right there. Although, he is a deep reflection of all that I need to work on myself – a mirror of me. Perhaps as I polish that mirror I will have a crystal clear image.

      I just thought of that now … hmmm…

  2. Oh wow, there are so many things I like about this post:

    #1. You have a deadline! And a plan! You are thisclose to execution!

    #2. You have doubts. You are vulnerable. You are human.

    #3. Lines that stand alone like “My husband is not one of those seven people and it bothers me.” That line is powerful and it struck me. Lines like those make writers good. The line sounds like it was from the heart and that you didn’t even think about it when you wrote it.

    #4. Eat, Pray, Love: A massive inspiration for me too–one of the first films to get me thinking about writing a memoir.

    This is so fun! Hang in there! I hope to have an agenda as clearly defined as you do now. Keep it up!!!!!

    • Thank you so much for your support! It means so much to me to know that I am not alone and that other writers, and people, get the process.

      Your comments and thoughts on the chapter are deeply appreciated!

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