I am sleeping sound as a baby and then all of a sudden a dream with a crazy man always coming into my life wakes me up. I am the character Robin from the TV show How I Met Your Mother and there is this guy who is insistent on being my boyfriend. He won’t leave me alone. He shows up at my work, I am a police officer, and asks my boss and my co-workers if he can see me. It is a constant battle to get away from him.
In addition to this, he always brings a tractor when he comes and he parks it in the worst places. I seem to live and work in an old character home and he parks it on the patch of grass that is on the outside of the sidewalk, by the street. The strip that the city owns. A bit weird.
I see me running in and out of character homes trying to escape him. I see me trying to convince my boss not to let him in the building and my boss won’t listen. I see cats. Their are two cats that are always taking too long to get in and out of the doors that I am trying to get closed as I run away between character homes.
I wake up from this dream and all I can think about is the connection to being right, the ego, and shenpa, what hooks us on wanting to prove we are right. Shenpa is a Buddhist term for being hooked. When someone says or does something it can hook you and cause you to argue, be sad or dwell on the words or an experience.
Upon waking from my dream, my immediate thoughts go to a friend of mine who told me yesterday how her little girl always has to prove she is right. Yesterday was a particularily rough day for the two of them. The little girl, who is around 10 years old, was arguing about everything with her mom. Her mom bites into the arguing but always seems to catch herself and is able to pull away. Good job.
As I lay in bed convincing myself I will remember to write this and that I do not have to get out of bed at 1 o’clock in the morning, I wonder what gets at this little girl to want to argue. Sure her ego is strong and developing but why does she get hooked so easily by shenpa on proving herself?
Obviously I decided that I would not remember to write this so I got up to put that thought out there. When you are wanting to prove you are right ask yourself what you have to gain from proving yourself? What issue snagged you and got you hooked? Tell your ego that it doesn’t have to prove anything. Being right or wrong only separates us more and that it can rest.
I have no idea how this concept is tied to my dream at this hour. Maybe when I wake up it will all make sense.