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Introvert? Me?

This spring I was informed that I exhibit signs of being an introvert.  It came as quite a shock to me because I chat with people in supermarkets or checkout lines. I never thought of myself as an introvert.  The lady waiting at the bus stop, well somehow we probably got to chatting and she shared with me some of the most intimate thoughts she has.  I can bring that out in people and I love it.

Introverts apparently like intimate relationships rather than surface ones.  We like to go deeper and can’t stand just talking about the weather or some relatively insignificant matter.  We want to get right to the soul of the situation and do this with one or two people rather than a table full. This is why I can bond well with some stranger but put me in a banquet room at my husband’s work Christmas party and I am nauseous.

Last night my husband makes a remark about me being traumatized about crossing the street due to being hit by a car when I was young.  I think for a moment and realize that I am not traumatized by that event.  I have a lot of good memories from that episode in my life actually.  But I do realize that I was hit by a car because I was rushing across the street to avoid some friends. Yes, that is the type of person I am. You can show up at my house and I will invite you in for cookies and milk. I love surprise visitors. Well, one or two but not groups.  If you call me up I’m happy to meet you anywhere and have a visit. But for some reason meeting up with people unexpectedly really makes me nervous. I hide.

As I sit silently reflecting on this for a moment I recall a crowd of friends showing up at my door when I was in Grade Seven or Eight and pressuring me to go out with them.  I had been out with them often enough for my liking so I made up a lie that I was grounded so I could stay in by myself.  It worked too.

I see many pieces of a puzzle floating together, many moments of introvertedness (yes, I just created a word) coming together to show me a picture of being an introvert.  I see how much I need to do some educating to find coping mechanisms. I see my two youngest girls preferring to be alone as well. Perhaps I can be a guiding light for them.

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3 thoughts on “Introvert? Me?

  1. Interesting. I thought I was SUCH an extrovert but I do much prefer deeper-level conversations etc.. although I can ‘work’ a room and used to do it as a professional conference organizer, but I always ended up having surprisingly deep and meaningful conversations with one or two people which were really satisfying – especially since they almost always thought I was a dumb blonde! I know that panic of seeing people you only have superficial relationships with. It’s as if you know you’re going to have to talk about the weather and that makes my brain weep!

  2. I remember reading that the definition of an introvert is that they recharge and get energized by time to themselves. An introvert doesn’t necessarily not like being with people, but needs that quiet alone time.

    • I agree. Alone time is recharge time. I agree, I don’t think introverts dislike being with people. They just feel more comfortable in certain situations. I know I feel uncomfortable with small chat. That is why I struggle to go to my husband’s work parties. There is a lot of small chat going on. Yet, if I can find that one person whom I can really talk to, share real stories with, than I am okay at the party.
      My husband is the opposite. He wants to have surface conversations with everyone and never get to the meat of the matter. He can float around his work parties talking to a few people while I will be found sitting at one table chatting with a few. Or maybe one.

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